星期日, 5月 29, 2005

承認

有時都不得不承認自己係阿爸阿媽生的,愈來愈發現自己的某種性格同佢地一樣。
我的執著和硬頸就同老爸無異; 某程度的工作狂我想都是遺傳自媽,可是我不想跟她一樣捱出腎石來...
自從搬出來住之後,有很多個晚上都發夢跟家人在一起,多數都是可怕、憤怒和不開心的,偶爾會有開心的,可是十個夢之中都沒有兩個。我在夢入面滿是害怕、不安和悲傷來面對佢地,很想有人告訴我發那些夢代表什麼,是太掛念還是無法忘掉之前的恐懼? 如果要我而家親自面對我爸,我想我必不好受,**事實根本承受不了。

**實驗已在04年尾通過,証實我無力承受。

14 Comments:

At 10:45 下午, 5月 29, 2005, Anonymous 匿名 said...

云, 我想你別再太執?了, 我倆也有一個不好的爸, 但我想現在大家也不用跟他一起生活已算是好運了! 現在面對不了的, 不用強迫自己去面對! 人大了, 想法自然會不同, 到時再想怎麼做吧! 何苦要自己活在痛苦的回憶中? 我想, 你選擇搬出來, 也是為了令自己生活得快樂一些吧? 為何做到了, 但又硬要把自己困在痛苦中? 人生苦短, 為何不活得快樂一點呢??

 
At 7:28 下午, 5月 30, 2005, Anonymous 匿名 said...

dreams are always opposite to reality!!! when you feel bad about it, it means luck! when it's sweet, it means bad! OH! just face your dad la :D

 
At 11:31 下午, 5月 31, 2005, Blogger 陳花 said...

嘈, 我想你是全宇宙最懂得安慰人的人了!
搬出來絕對是為了積極新生活,可是惡夢有意無意跟隨2年有多,事實上我希望我和家人可以和睦,不過我都會勉強的,04年尾那一仗只是順應一眾親戚要求和挑戰了自己的EQ,結果失敗了,失敗了也好,知清自己底線,算是對自己好一點

 
At 11:53 下午, 5月 31, 2005, Blogger 陳花 said...

nick, do u think u leave yr name as"林力奇" in the future is better?only i will call u the name!! hahaha~~~XDDD
i will happy if dreams really opposite to reality.
i just wanna tell u ,i meet him once in the end of last yr, but he pretent didn't see me!
what is a reality?!X
my mather said he really can't identify me at the time...!! and ask my mum :"i just guess who is the girl beside u"
hohoho!!
what is a reality??:-/
but pls don't worry, i am not angry at all now, i don't care.

i don't mind telling u those things, as they are past, like the title i wrote on this blog "everything will flow", it's from the passage of 三毛, it's always sad when talking about this sentence,really love her die!

anyway,i am happy u leave yr message on those topic!:)

 
At 11:58 上午, 6月 01, 2005, Anonymous 匿名 said...

云, 其實安慰人的同事, 也在安慰和鼓勵自己, 積極生活下去呢! 你也不必勉強去做這些事了, 我總覺得, 呢o的事, 到最後都會自己有所發展的, 不必刻意去想, 刻意去做!
對自己好一點, 也是對身邊的人好一點的做法!! 努力!

 
At 12:44 上午, 6月 02, 2005, Anonymous 匿名 said...

血緣是多叫人悲哀的東西

 
At 2:46 上午, 6月 02, 2005, Blogger 陳花 said...

對啊!oy,低b點講句,就是:如果有得選擇,我也很想當李嘉誠的兒子啊!
我媽以前經常都鬧我:鬼叫你唔識投胎呀!
我會想:我實在記不起原來我是有得選擇的啊.....

 
At 2:32 上午, 6月 03, 2005, Anonymous 匿名 said...

呵呵, 咁又係喎, 如果有得揀, 我都想揀琪琪同任達華, 父母咁愛,小朋友一定幸福的!!!

 
At 12:32 上午, 6月 04, 2005, Anonymous 匿名 said...

karen,

if i can choose. i wanna come from nowhere.
or boom from a stone?
i am just myself.
HOW COOL !
my mother ... when talking about me good at drawing, she will say cox me have her blood.
when me do bad thing, my ma will say i have my father's blood.

 
At 3:25 上午, 6月 04, 2005, Blogger 陳花 said...

琪x同任xx咁~~~~愛,小朋友唔變態已經走運了.....XC===

 
At 3:26 上午, 6月 04, 2005, Blogger 陳花 said...

oy,人本來就是獨立的個體呀........!!

 
At 6:48 下午, 6月 05, 2005, Anonymous 匿名 said...

"人本來就是獨立的個體"

it's not right on me.
i have no free.

i can just feel what is freedom when i in cafe or in bath room.

 
At 12:18 上午, 6月 06, 2005, Blogger 陳花 said...

你要加油呀!!oy~~我說"人本來就是獨立的個體"意思就是他們不應該這樣對你(或我們)。
我們可以做點事當作回饋,可是不要把我們看成附屬品!在家中生活的日子實在難受極!就算你百般忍讓,照顧周到,佢還是會說你做錯!那種不當我是人般看待的生活,更遑論是自由!!

我很希望看到你般出來的一天,好好的有個創作的地方,可是你得爭氣,不要給別人有任何的痛腳,閒時得儲點錢,要離開的時候也別樣衰衰的問家人施捨!

真期待你的新書!這樣我的臉也會因為這樣而添上光彩!
其實老實說我覺得你已比很多人走運,若果當初你投錯胎當了琪x同任xx的小朋友,我想你的生活會更加堪坷

 
At 1:39 上午, 6月 06, 2005, Anonymous 匿名 said...

oh dear karen, thx for your words!
"這樣我的臉也會因為這樣而添上光彩!" HOW TOUCHING !!!
um .. maybe i can say...no matter how are my papa and mama, i both poor.
as the art making people are all poor.
they got the great sadness.. but no happy..

if one day i move out, that's just for wanna be no noisy...as here really too noisy. they are not bad people..

ah ... every human born with their very own time and space.. that is human right... i think

 

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